WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
