You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
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