I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
