Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
