This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
