Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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