please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Sorry about my life...
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
