I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
