On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
