I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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