Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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