farters have to be the big spoon...
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
