There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
