I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I understand Curling. That high.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
