I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
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