all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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