He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
