I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Randomize
