Whod you bang
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
