Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Shame - the story of my life.
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