How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Randomize
