I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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