its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize
