The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Houston, we have a squirter
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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