i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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