Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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