I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
