idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
