how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
What a dumb baby whore.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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