Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
