I just pynch a tree in the face
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
