My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
