If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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