i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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