Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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