I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
