you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
