yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
