Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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