How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
