If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
No...this little piggys going to the bar
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
