i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
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