New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
