Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Alive.
So much puke
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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