Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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