So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Randomize
