I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
