I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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