its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
