So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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